Family Ties
by Aisling-Siobhan
Summary: HIATUS.When Buffy stakes Dru Angelus goes after her Wounded & scared Buffy runs into Spike who doesnt know of Drus dusty ending his confused feelings for her lead him to turn her When he finds out about Drus death Spike throws Buffy out She finds solace i
1. Prologue

"_**Family Ties"**_

**Disclaimer:** Well, what Joss doesn't know is I've hidden Spike under my bed, and I _never_ /I plan to give him back! Hehe haha! _My_ Spike! The name is by lj user"velvette"

**Summery:** Post Innocence. After Buffy stakes Dru, Angelus goes after her. Wounded and scared Buffy runs into Spike- who doesn't know of Drus dusty ending yet -his confused feelings for her impending death lead him to turn her. She in turn turns Xander and Willow as her own Childer. Willow gets staked, paving the way for my X/B/S triangle! Once Angelus has been tortured and staked by Spike for having tried to kill him.

**Rating:** R/NC-17

**A/N:** Dru gave Spike her blood after WML 1&2 to heal him- so no wheelchair! Spuffy all the way baby! With a bit of Spander and however you say x/w. As well as X/B/S. Dark fic- read if you don't mind the likes of torture, death, violence, smut, _(who doesn't?)_ dominance, etc. E.g. Xander's punishment for losing his challenge over Spikes claim on Buffy, or Angelus' torture and demise. _(Who would mind that? Apart from Ducks.)_

_XXX_

**Prologue**

Restfield cemetery was a bust, not one single vamp in sight. Rather than waste more time standing around Buffy the vampire slayer headed to another of Sunnydales countless cemeteries. Deciding on Shady Hill, Buffy took a seat upon the headstone of one Nicholas Small, and waited.

_XXX_

At the Crawford Street Mansion, Angelus paced the main hall restlessly. Dru had gone out over an hour ago, she should have been back by now. In point of fact she should never have gone out in the first place. Spinning around and directing his misplaced anger at Spike, he raged.

"You stupid fool. Why the fuck did you let her leave?"

Not having any of it Spike defended himself against the onslaught of words; "If I recall correctly, I am Dru's Childe not her watcher." His blank tone and look threw Angelus through a loop. Spike didn't seem to care. The only sign that he was still paying attention was the glare he directed at Angelus himself whenever his back was, and wasn't, turned.

"Doesn't sound like you, m' lad. When did this change occur?"

"When she ran back to her _daddy_!" Muttering under his breath so Angelus barley heard him, he turned and left the room. A few more words floated back, picked up by the other Master Vampires sensitive hearing before the door closed behind him. "I'll find her; don't get your knickers in a twist."

Not one to be outdone by anyone let alone Spike, Angelus went after him determined to find his Childe first.

_XXX_

Wandering towards Shady Hill, in search of her newborn, Dru sang to herself. Her words muffled by her whispered tone but scarily chilling all the same.

"Collect your pictures off the floor, Pray to God for love and hope." She held her hands up in front of her and inspected them. Remembering briefly what it felt like to dig herself out of her grave. Finally, she moved her hands lower but clasped them in front of her as if she was really praying and kept walking.

Wandering through the cemetery's entrance, her words dragging behind her like the train of a brides wedding dress.

"Bring the virgin home for lunch, Bolt the door to keep it shut." Dru giggled softly.

Coming to a stop a few feet away from the headstone she searched for, Drusilla spotted the slayer. Singing louder to attract her attention and save the minion that was about to rise

"That sinking feeling, when you are leaving, all I believe in, Walks out the door." She swayed her hips in time to the rhythm of the song she was singing.

Hearing her Buffy jumped off the gravestone and assumed a fighting stance. Feet splayed a shoulder width apart, hands balled into fists held up in front of her. As Dru walked out of the shadows Buffy finished the next bit of the line. Shaking her head at her involvement of this vampiress' insanity.

"I tried hard to mend my wicked ways; Damage done there's nothing left to save." Buffy voice wavered slightly at the look Dru shot her. It seemed to go straight through her and practically yank her soul back out through her eyes.

Dru tsked and shook her head at Buffy's intrusion; "Sssh! Bad little girl, spoilt mummy's fun!"

"Quiet." Buffy snapped, not really in the mood to unravel riddles. "Are we gonna fight or you gonna babble at me until Angelus or Spike show up to save your insane ass?"

Dru growled in warning but Buffy ignored her; "Come on then crazy lady, give me all you got."

Not really thinking through what she'd just done until Dru obliged her and pounced for her throat.

'_Crap… I need a vacation.'_

Oh I've tried… yea I've tried…!

_**X0X**_

**_A/N:_** _Nicholas Small is not an original character, in point of fact he is just a really annoying dickhead in my year, and most of my classes. More to the pity, he did not really die! The song Dru and Buffy sing as well as the last line of this chappy is Garbage's 'Wicked Ways' Review me please?_


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks tot hose who read, because no one reviewed :'(

B U **Part 1** /U /B 

They fought, trading punches, legs kicking out and coming back in again. Nails raking the others cheeks, blood spilling, bruises forming. Until Dru stopped, standing ramrod straight waiting for Buffy to stop as well. Once she had Dru began to sway.

"Look into my eyes. Be in me."

Knowing what she was doing Buffy tried to fight it. Clearing her mind like Giles taught her to, Buffy was able to evict Dru's presence long enough to grab her stake out of the waistband of her pants. But Dru had wormed her way back inside before Buffy had a chance to use her weapon.

"Be in me." Dru continued swaying. Her fingers raised nails deadly sharp and aimed for Buffy's throat.

Remembering Kendra and how she had died, Buffy fought harder. She had to avenge her sister slayer and not die herself. She still had to kill Angelus! With as must strength as she could muster whilst under Drusilla's influence, Buffy raised the stake slowly and shoved it into the vampiress' chest.

Looking down in dismay, Dru lost her hold on Buffy. Taking her chance she slammed the stake the rest of the way in and hel-lo dust particles. As Dru turned to ashes, Buffy who was still pretty close to her got a mouth full of vamp dust as she inhaled. Coughing she stepped back and into someone- some I _thing_ /I !

I _XXX_ /I 

Watching that bitch stake his Childe, Angelus' demon raged. He wasn't going to play tonight he was out for blood! I _Hers_ /I ! Stepping up behind her as she moved back and into him, Angelus couldn't help but decide the fates were with him tonight. She'd practically been put into his lap.

She felt him behind her, Angelus knew from the way she tensed. Reaching out he ran his hands up her arms and back down again, the way Angel might have. Buffy shivered in his arms and turned to face him. He vamped out and snarled at her, shocking her back into the present.

She was fighting Angelus not Angel! She should be fighting Angelus, now. Raising her leg, she swept his feet out from under him; he fell and landed hard on his back. Buffy searched her person for another stake, finding one in her inside jacket pocket. Pulling it out quickly she raised it in front of her like a screen and stood her ground as Angelus got up and started her down, growling.

"Little bitch. Thinks she can kill her and get away with it? Well she can't. Gonna make the slut pay!"

Buffy closed her eyes tight at his words. I _Not Angel, not Angel!_ /I Remembering that she opened them again only to find she'd been too slow. Angelus was in front of her, reaching for her. She tried to jump back or kick out but he'd grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her to the other side of him. Straight into a mausoleum.

Groaning as she stood, retrieving her dropped weapon, Buffy looked around.

"Where'd he go?" She muttered to herself when she couldn't see him. Reaching behind her head she could feel the knot forming. I _Gonna hurt in the morning. If I live to see it that is._ /I Looking around again, Buffy stepped further into the cemetery, looking for the quickest exit. Running and living tomorrow was better than staying and dying today, right?

Once she looked again and didn't see him Buffy ran for the wall, only to get half way over it and be pulled back down by strong hands gripping her waist.

"Here I am, lover." He cooed. Laughing as he threw her to the floor again.

Scrambling to her knees Buffy tried to crawl away. Laughing harder at her pathetic attempts to escape, Angelus walked around and stood in front of her.

"Going somewhere, Buff?" His voice mocked her, and scared her.

Backing up, Buffy tried to scramble in another direction. This time stooped by Angelus turning her onto her back and sitting on her, a leg either side of her hips. Keeping her from moving I _anywhere_ /I , she couldn't even wiggle.

And when she tried she came in contact with a familiar bulge. Gasping she stilled again, Angelus grinned down at her evilly and Buffy started crying. I _Oh god, he wouldn't!_ /I She was right in a way, Angel wouldn't, Angelus would.

Lowering his hand he popped open the button on his leather pants and pulled down the zipper. Running his hands over her cloth covered breasts; he squeezed one then the other. Buffy bit her tongue, trying to stop her tears, trying to forget this was happening to her.

"Don't cry, baby, I'll make it good for you." Angelus moaned breathily as he freed his erection from the loosened confines of his pants. Buffy, paying no heed to his words, cried harder.

I B **_X1X_** /B /I 

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	3. Chapter 2

U B **Part 2** /B /U 

Angelus watched her, lying beneath him in tears, and laughed. The sound was harsh and callous, and brought a sick feeling to Buffys stomach. Her head turned away she tried to calm herself. I _This_ /I didn't matter, it was just her body; as long as he didn't get inside her mind she would survive this. She had to survive this- too many people were depending on her!

Obviously a fan of being watched Angelus reached and turned her head back up to look at him. With his other hand he reached down and pulled the drawstrings on her pants.

"Look away and I'll kill you."

Buffy swallowed terrified. Angelus laughed again. Wiggling again, not realising the affect it had on him, Buffy tried to flip him off. During her struggle and before she was subdued by Angelus pressing more of his weight on her Buffy caught a glimpse of her stake. If she could only reach it…

But that involved looking away didn't it? I _He's gonna kill me anyway, might as well try for it._ /I 

Reaching her hand out, she looked away briefly whilst bucking her hips up. Using her movement as a distraction she grabbed the stake as firmly as she could and brought it down towards Angelus.

Seeing her motive, he reached out and grabbed her wrist, twisting her hand in. therefore impaling Buffy herself with the stake- thankfully missing her heart.

With as much strength as she had left, willing it up through the body and into her hands. Pushing his chest hard she managed to knock him off of her, thanking whoever was watching over her that Angelus was shocked the extremeness of her wound.

Standing shakily, she held the strings that kept her trouser up and ran, tying them as she went. Looking back every so often only to see the same thing. Angelus looking at the stake he now held in I his /I hand! Shrugging she ran faster.

I _XXX_ /I 

Spike stood around Caldicot cemetery, listening for any activity at all. All he could hear was breathing- heavy, terrified. It kept getting closer and as it did the smell of blood got stronger. Eventually it was so close he could swear it was I _hers_ /I but who could have gotten the upper hand of the slayer with out him hearing?

I _Dru?_ /I He thought briefly, she could use her thrall on the slayer, wouldn't need much fighting if you couldn't control your own mind, right? Dismissing the thought- he'd be able to sense her and he couldn't -he carried on walking.

Then he saw her. Beautiful, stunning even like Aphrodite herself, leaving Olympus to step of her shimmering cloud and grace him with her presence. Even covered in blood she was--

I _Blood? Oh bloody hell! _ /I Stepping forward slowly he called out to her, flinching when she took a step back.

"Buffy?" He tried again. "Come out pet, I wont hurt you."

"I bet that's what you say to all the girls." He laughed softly; Buffy noted it didn't sound anywhere as scary as Angelus'. Spike sounded amused even.

"What happened? Can I help?"

"I don't think anyone can help me now Spike." His head tilted and he looked at her.

"How so pet?" She moved her hand away from her stomach and Spike swore he felt his heart beat and then stop again. Laughing silently he moved closer to her.

"I- I think I'm dying." She looked up and ducked her head again quickly at the look the blond vampire was giving her. "Angelus- " Spike growled, starling Buffy. "He- I tried to stake him. He staked me instead. Funny huh? Since when did he decide he wanted my job? Could have asked nice like, I wouldn't have minded the vacation."

Spike's lips twitched at the corners but he stayed sullen looking. He knew she was trying to make light out of the situation but he couldn't see the funny. This girl- I _His_ /I girl -was dying because of his bastard Grandsire. I _It should have been me._ /I 

"Come ere pet. I'll make it better."

"Spike- " She tried to protest, but cut it short at the pleading look Spike was giving her. Instead she just walked forward and into his embrace.

Hands stroking her back and running up to tangle in her hair, while hers gripped his waist. He fisted on hand in her hair and pulled her head aside. Vamping out he smiled apologetically at her and ducked his head towards her neck.

As his fangs descended on her jugular, all Buffy could think about was her friends and her mom. Also, she had this B **major** /B urge to kick him away and run, but self-preservation kicked in and decided for her it was better to be made immortal by Spike than to have been staked and bled to death by her former lover. At least this way there was still a chance she could keep him away from her friends.

As his fangs sliced her flesh open and he began to suck the blood out of it, Buffy arched towards him. I _Doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would._ /I She surmised. When he pulled away from her she let out a breathy moan, it had felt so good with him at her neck. Swiping his tongue over her puckered and bleeding flesh he healed the wounds quickly and, with one arm steadying her, brought the other to his mouth and bit his wrist.

Pushing it against her lips, he groaned when her tongue poked out and licked his wound. Holding her slackening body tighter, he urged her on. She in return latched onto his wound and sucked harder. Pulling away a little while later, he lifted her in his arms and walked back towards the mansion- their new home!

I B **_X2X_** /B /I 

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	4. Chapter 3

Thanks to spikegothicchick for the reviews

U B **Part 3** /B /U 

As Spike walked through the doorway, every minion in the room froze- stunned. Many of them, since Angelus had returned, had lost their admiration and respect for the blond but now it was back, full force, all because he got the girl no one else seemed to be able to kill.

I _Must run in the family._ /I Spike thought, thinking of the Master. "Find her someone to eat." He ordered, walking quicker to escape the embarrassment of bowing minions. He didn't want the praise- that was Angelus' fetish -he wanted control.

Minions scattered, running outside in every direction trying to find their- or who the assumed to be -new mistress food. Realising once they left, they'd sent too many of them out they figured they'd find themselves food as well. They certainly couldn't go back with nothing.

I _XXX_ /I 

Inside the mansion, Spike walked slowly into his bedroom. It smelled, he noticed, of him alone. Which was good, couldn't have Buffy wake up to Dru-smell. Least Angelus came in useful for something- well, two things. He was, after all, the reason Spike had a childe now.

He hadn't been worthy of her. Didn't deserve her, not that Spike was implying I _he_ /I did, but still. Spike had marked her his, since he arrived in town, wanted to kill her, hurt her. Soon that had faded into kill her, with not just bad feelings that accompanied it. Angelus, screws her, throws her away and then B **decides** /B he wants to kill her. He didn't deserve her!

But, thankfully Spike had found her. Any later and she could have been dead- Angelus would have won. But it was all he needed, the thought of Angelus getting the girl- again -made him do what he swore to do along time ago. He bagged his third slayer. Sure he planned to do it, but he knew deep down he might not have been able to when the time arose. So far, something had always stopped him.

Her mom on parent's night, the watcher breaking the spell on Halloween, Dru's presence at the bomb shelter, the other slayer showing up and- as usual -ruining his plan. Maybe… he wasn't meant to kill her, but hell it was fun trying!

"That it bloody well was." He laughed quietly placing Buffy down on the bed. Crawling up to lie down beside her, he laid his head against her neck and purred softly. Willing her to wake up. He'd have to thank Angelus… it would I _really_ /I piss him off!

I _XXX_ /I 

Buffy stirred softly in Spike arms. Her head hurt, her neck hurt- well not in the 'ow' sense of the word but it was like a tingling, or maybe a stinging feeling -but she felt safe. And that was the weird thing. The last thing she remembered was dying…

And Spike. She remembered him as well. That look, the one he gave her before he killed her. I _No, that's not fair. It wasn't his fault!_ /I she told herself; annoyed at the way her mind instantly blamed Spike for her death. But god, that look. So hungry, like he was the big bad wolf, and she was grandma I _Ew!_ /I and he wanted to eat her up. But, underneath that burning lust, the desire she swore he looked sad.

Why would Spike be sad about killing her? And why was he sorry? He'd smiled at her; she could see the apologies floating around his brain shining through his eyes and smile. But why? What did he care? He had his third slayer!

Her thoughts help upgrade the tingly ouchies to a full on migraine and she sighed. Repressing a groan as she felt Spike lay her on the bed. Then to crawl up beside her and purr against her neck. When his tongue flicked out and traced her bite marks she gave up; opening her eyes she smiled at him.

"Sire."

I B **_X3X_** /B /I 

Go read part 4 now


	5. Chapter 4

U B **Part 4** /B /U 

"Sire."

"Childe." Spike purred back at her, grinning. Raising his hand, frowning when she flinched slightly, he lowered it to her face. His fingertips brushing her cheek, moving higher until his palm rested there and his fingers brushed her eyebrows. "Change for me, pet."

Her forehead creased in concentration, it was usual that fledgling vampires couldn't change- or change back. But she tried anyway, and Spike was sure she could do it. He knew she could. Her face was a mask of utter focus, of complete deliberation, until it split with the extent of her grin.

Feeling her bones shift against one another she had to repress a shudder, I _I guess you get use to it._ /I Reaching her own hand up, she traced her furrowed brow, and then ran them down her fangs and into her mouth. Grinning up at Spike the entire time. He in return- didn't grin -he smiled. Pure, happy, tender- loving? -not his usually cocky smirk. And it felt nice.

Leaning down to kiss her softly, she mewled when he pulled her flush against him, and ravaged her mouth. What started off chaste turned hungry, desperate and forceful within moments. Their lust devouring each other's tongues', hands groping, unheedingly panting.

"I want you Buffy."

She beamed up at him, "you called me Buffy."

"'S your name isn't it?" He pressed his lips to hers and pulled away quickly, mumbling. "Even if it is bloody stupid."

She slapped him across the chest, pouting and whining about how her mother gave her that name. He mock pouted in return and heaved a big, unnecessary sigh until she stopped sulking and wrapped her arms around him. Pulling her against him again, Spike pressed a kiss to her forehead. Pushing her back onto the bed, he ran his hands down her thighs and back up again. One hand skimming the waistband of her pants he pulled the string, grinning when she bucked against him. Leaning down to kiss her again he-

Was interrupted by the sound of sobbing and someone purposefully coughing. Looking up he growled at the minion who interrupted him.

"Sorry Master Spike, but I- I, um, brought the slay- mistress food." He amended himself at Spike's warning glance. Buffy just tilted her head and observed her lunch.

Noticing who he was, she stood from the bed and re-did her drawstrings- for the third time that night, she might as well not fasten her pants -walking towards him, the man shuddered. Buffy's vampire visage melted away to reveal hazel eyes and a smooth forehead, and the man gasped.

"Hello Owen, I see you didn't give up the danger man routine. Pity for you, huh?" The man nodded vigorously, tears leaking form the corner of his eyes. "Oh well, serves you right I guess." Reaching him, the minion stood back and Spike watched amused, but slightly miffed that she knew him, she bent down and ungagged him.

"Oh god, Buffy? What happened, I mean how? I _When?_ /I Buffy?"

"Yes, Owen, we have established that I am Buffy Summers. Jeeze, I know dying sucks- been there myself, twice -but honestly, cant you say anything more coherent?"

"Oh god, oh god." Shaking his head, trying to loosen her grip on his face. I _Obviously, he can't._ /I She mused.

Grinning maliciously down at him, she vamped again. "Nope, sorry, not home. I'll be sure to let him know you… I _died_ /I !" She hissed the last word at him, and her demon rejoiced in the fear that was rolling off of him in torrents. I _Oh, yea… now I get why people like being evil. It's _ B **_fun_** /B /I 

Leaning down, she kissed his neck softly, then, ever so slowly stuck her tongue out to trace a wet line down his jugular. Practically buzzing with how much more terrified he got by the second. Growing bored of her game; she bit down hard, her fangs sinking into his flesh, tearing it, and the blood vessel beneath it. Blood- intoxicating, delicious, life-giving blood flowed from the wound and into her mouth. She groaned and pulled harder. More blood flowed free, draining the mortal in her grasp, weakening him further. But she didn't care, a part of her should have, but all she cared about was the blood. Good thing she had a Master Sire, otherwise she'd have ended up like the other fledglings she use to stake every other night. Alone, cold, dirty, and dust! She was ravenous, and it no doubt would have gotten her staked.

Slowing down as she began to hear his heartbeat slow. Spike stepped forward; ready to pull her off, when she stopped and dropped the corpse. Getting to her feet she smiled.

"What? I knew he was dead!" Spike grinned and took her in his arms, kissing her. The minion gave a small round of applause, for the only know vampire among them to take to the kill so effortlessly. She hadn't even spilt a drop!

She was going to prove interesting!

I B **_X4X_** /B /I 

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	6. Chapter 5

Thanks to tsumelover for the review, what did you mean I didn't finish it:S

**Part 5**

He was devouring her, taking her essence into himself, drawing it out through every pore of her body as she mewled against him. His tongue invading hers, investigating the cavern of her mouth as she in turn sent her tongue forward to fend him off.

Hands stroking arms, fingers digging into hips, flesh sliding and grinding against flesh as if time didn't exist. Unneeded breath rushed in great gasps from kiss-bruised lips whenever they were apart. Drawing the air back in their mouths fused in passion once more.

Pulling back finally, Buffy smiled at her Sire. "Hey you." She breathed with a slight evil smile.

"'Lo pet."

Smiling softly back at her, he was overwhelmed by the feelings of pride and affection that overcame him when he remembered her first kill. As if she knew what he was thinking she chose that very same moment to remember Owen's death and turned to face the minion, who having not been excused from his master's presence, stood quietly in the corner. Undoubtedly aroused by the couples grope fest.

"Hi, thanks for him." Pointing at the corpse lying in a heap on the floor Buffy spoke to the minion. "Was starting to get a bit hungry." The minion smiled looking down at the ground, unsure as to how she expected to be answered. "What's your name?"

That was definitely not what he expected. "Um, Dalton, Mistress Buffy

"Hi." She waved softly, a slightly confused expression marring her features. "Why…?" Trailing off at Spikes growl.

Warily stepping back towards the door, Dalton coughed again.

"Yea, you can go now," Spike muttered.

Nodding, he ran from the room. Glad to find the slayer was a lot nicer to vamps when she was on their side.

Once he was gone, Buffy turned to Spike "Why didn't you let me ask him why he called me Mistress?"

"Because he has no right to declare whether you are or aren't. You are mine! So while I am master of those fools, you will be mistress."

"So you know?" She asked hopefully, certain that she was now Mistress because Drusilla was dead.

"Know what?" He replied inquisitively head tilting oh so deliciously to one side.

_Maybe not then_ Sighing she shook her head and Spike let it go. 

"Where were we?" He purred at her, eyebrows raised as he prowled towards her. Capturing her in his arms, he laid her down on the bed and came to rest on top of her. Hands slipping past the waist of her pants, pulling them from her body and down her hips slightly, the top of her pants barley showing. "Right about here, I think."

"Oh god, Spike."

"If you want, I can go by that." She slapped him playfully and he, once again, captured her lips in a searing kiss.

She shuddered as she bucked her hips against his, rubbing her most sensitive part against his hard arousal. Growling heatedly into her ear, licking his tongue out to trace her ear lobe. One hand pulling her hair away as the other divested her of her pants. Soon she was completely naked.

"Someone has too many clothes on." She pouted at him.

He stood smirking from the bed, purring in satisfaction at the vision that lay waiting for his plunder. Slowly, he gripped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up and off. Spike began to work on his boots and taking off his socks as he ran light finger tips down his chest and abdomen. Grinning within at her small gasp of wanton abandonment his little strip tease was stirring in her. Unbuckling the belt and unsnapping his pants, he slowly pulled them down his legs.

Looking up at him through hooded eyes Buffy mewled as his jeans came down. _Oh, if only I had known what he hid under that duster, I wouldn't have fought so hard._ She thought to herself. Spike seemed to know she was thinking about him as he laughed. Glad for her lack of circulation, otherwise her bright red cheeks would have definitely given her thoughts away.

As she noticed his lack of underwear she gasped, sure that if it was possible, bright red just went up a notch. Smirking at her again, Spike kicked off his jeans and stalked towards the bed. Spike almost froze when he saw her eyes without all the fangs and bumpies. His heart swelled in pride, and something more, but thoughts of Dru iced the warm emotion. Sure, he fancied the pants off Buffy, but no one could replace Drusilla, his sire and his unholy lover for over 100 years. No, he wouldn't say anything, he'd wait and then maybe…!

_I have to tell him. We can't do this and have me not tell him. I'm **going** to tell him!_

"Spike, I need to say something."

He looked up frowning as he kissed a trail over her breasts. "Can't it wait, pet?"

"No!"

He raised an eyebrow, and she answered his unasked question. "It's not that I don't want to with you, I do, cause you're sexy and hot, and have a great body and I kind of lo- like you, but if we do this and I tell you afterwards you won't want to do it again, and I'd rather not have you at all than lose you."

"It's better to have loved and lost, pet." He smirked at her; sure that this was just a distraction technique. He lowered his head again to her breasts. 

"Not with **me** Spike!" She bit out, irritated.

His head snapped up when he realized she was being serious, and he smiled reassuringly at her

"Believe me, luv, there is **nothing** you could do to make me not want you." He vowed his voice full of lust and desire, as were his eyes.

"Wish I could believe you." Buffy muttered to herself, her dead heart breaking in her chest.

"What was that?" He asked softly, eyes boring into hers.

"Nothing. Please, let me tell you Spike."

"Later. I have _other_ things in mind for now."

Sighing dejectedly Buffy lay back down. All thoughts of Dru and Buffy's part in her death fled her mind as her Spike once again fixed his mouth over her nipple. Thrusting her chest towards him she moaned. He released her breast, grinning, and moved onto the other. Moving lower he pushed her thighs apart gently and smiled as she tried to close them again.

"Don't hide from me, baby. Open up!"

Spreading her legs of her own volition she bit her lip softly. She wanted this- him -but he was going to hate her when he found out. Crying out his name as his tongue swept across her labia, the rational part of her brain once again failed her.

"Stop." She whimpered when she knew she was close. Spike looked up at her, hurt and sort of afraid, fearing she may have changed her mind. "I wanna cum with you." He smiled at her and moved up her body, pressing kisses to her skin along the way.

Capturing her lips again, fevered kissing over came them both. Reaching between them her hand wrapped around his cock and led it to her entrance. Smiling up at him, panting from the kisses, he kissed her once more and thrust up into her. She cried out as he stilled, waiting for her to adjust to his girth. Kissing her harder, he stilled himself to let her grow accustom to his size. Knowing this was her second time; he had to _really_ try to not hurt her. Which was hard since all his demon wanted to do was shag her into the mattress.

Reining his demon in, he waited until she was ready. Raising her hips slightly Buffy looked at him and he thrust to meet her. Letting her set the pace they came together and pulled apart over and over. Until they were so close to the edge that neither could control it, frantically moving their hips and sending hands to roam over the other. Her breasts crushed against his chest as they panted needlessly.

Spike felt so good, Angel hadn't felt this good. Spike stretched her to almost to the point of pain, his frantic thrusts hitting the mouth of her womb, making her cry out in pain and love every minute of it. Kissing along her throat Spike stopped to suck on the jugular that wasn't pulsing anymore. Mewling at his antics Buffy grabbed onto the back of his head.

"**Bite**."

As he bit down her world shattered. Colours flashed behind her eyes, ceilings crumbled and the walls shook. Until she was falling, falling, falling into a hole of fulfilled desire and sated lust. Euphoria over came her. As she came so did he, his orgasm triggered by the sound of her screaming his name as her blood pooled into his mouth and her internal muscles strangled his cock.

"Mine." He muttered against her throat as he released his fangs.

"Yours." She whispered back.

**_X5X_**

Please read and review me…


	7. Chapter 6

Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. :D

**Part 6**

Lying tangled in her arms Spike was content, he hadn't felt like this since… ever. He'd never felt like this. She's been here for mere hours and already he felt alive. It was a glorious feeling, one he wanted to experience over and over again, there was no way he was giving her up. Her fears were completely unfounded; she was just being stupid he was…

He had claimed her. The thought washed over him, at first filling him with dread and panic but soon those emotions were washed away by the waves of happiness he felt when he was in her arms. It didn't matter what the minions thought, they already assumed she'd take Dru's place as Mistress.

Dru… she was going to be pissed with him. Although thinking on it, he didn't see why. She left him, she abandoned him for Angelus! Now he found someone that made him as happy as her 'daddy' made her, so she'd just have to deal with that! Deciding it was time to introduce her to the minions, he shook her softly.

"Come now, pet, rise and shine."

"Sweepy, Spike." She mumbled her voice fuzzy with exhaustion. "I think you wore me out." He laughed and she looked up at him, gifting him with a dazzling smile.

Hair mussed and curly, sculpted cheekbones, muscled arms, pale-skinned chest; Spike looked every inch the Adonis. Even the small line of hair leading down from his abdomen only served to make him that much more beautiful, than a real man would be to a fictional god.

"Spike," she sighed contentedly. The sound of his name coming out of her lips in such sweet satisfaction and contentment made him vow that he'd be giving her reasons to sigh like that as often as he could.

"Yea, pet?" He asked his voice deep and breathy.

"I never did tell you what I wanted to."

Looking over her, her wound closed now the bruise would be gone later that day, her hair looking; well to be honest, like she tried brushing it with a hedgehog. Her face showing signs of light bruising.

_Angelus must have put up a good fight._

Her skin still held the Californian tan, which would over time fade away to the cold, ivory hue of his own skin. Pity, that, the tan really brought out her eyes. Despite the imperfections that marred her this morning, she was by far the most beautiful creature Spike believed himself to have ever seen. Stunned by her beauty, he failed to mention 'bar Drusilla' in his thoughts.

"Tell me now." He gazed over at her, smiling softly as he placed all his focus on her.

_XXX_

Picking himself off the floor moments after a dying Buffy had run off, Angelus stood on shaky legs and gripped the bloody stake in his hand. He couldn't believe it. He'd killed his Buffy. She was dying, probably dead by now, and it was his fault.

Suddenly, Angelus doubled over with laughter. Looking back at the stake he figured he'd keep it as proof. Using He re-buttoned his pants with his free hand; he took off in the direction of the mansion. The death of Drusilla was a distant memory compared to the death of the Slayer.

"Take that, Spike old boy." He said to himself maliciously, now that Angelus had won their months long game, he was sure of himself.

_XXX_

Entering the mansion, Angelus was amazed at how organized the minions were. Usually they were bumbling idiots, today they had meals chained and waiting in the 'human room', lined up as if expecting someone. Quiet. It was unnerving, a little, but since he assumed the attention was for him, Angelus didn't mind so much.

"She's dead. He killed the slayer."

"I can't believe it."

"I knew he could do it."

The minions whispered amongst themselves, congratulating the hero of the generation. Stepping up to the group Angelus grinned and bowed. Everyone in the room was focused on him, confused as to why one of their Masters was bowing to I _them. _ /I 

"You're all welcome." He arrogantly announced.

"F- For what, Sire?" Dalton asked hesitantly as he disposed of Owen.

"For killing the slayer, of course."

Dalton frowned; he could have sworn she was Spikes childe. "Master," Dalton's eyes darted around the room, trying to avoid direct eye contact with Angelus, "You...that is...with all due respect, Master, you did not kill the slayer."

Angelus growled at the smaller, weaker vampire's insolence, and was on the verge of punishing him brought his fist back to teach the minion proper respect when a door swung open behind him and the entire room full of minions dropped to their knees. He turned to the intruder, expecting to see Spike, but he did not expect who came _with _Spike.

"**I** killed her, mate."

_XXX_

She couldn't possibly tell him that she has been responsible for Dru's death. She had driven the stake into the undead body of his Sire, his lover for over 100 years. The only other woman he'd ever truly felt anything for destroyed by her hand. He'd hate her, how could he do anything but? She destroyed the face of his salvation, his unholy mother. If he hated her there would be no point, she was a slayer they weren't meant to be vampires, and she stayed only for him. No more Spike? That meant no more gentle kisses, no more whispered secrets as he drove her wild beneath him, no more tender caresses when ever she was hurt. No more… oh, and the smiles, such sweet smiles, if you hadn't known any better and were lucky enough for him to bestow a smile on you… you'd feel alive, truly alive, he seemed so innocent, such a little boy with his charm and eyes that twinkle, and she, the cause for his sadness. If she thought about it, she could almost imagine, his eyes would lose their twinkle, no more intimate smiles as they kissed, no more kisses… no more Spike!

"It doesn't matter." She said softly.

Spike frowned at her. He didn't want to command her to tell him as her Sire. He wanted her to trust him, to confide in him on her own, and not because he bade her to do it. But he also knew she had to tell him something very important. Important enough to beat sex was worth commanding out of her.

"Tell me." He did it, he made it a command, and Buffy knew it, she glared at him as she fought to silence the demon inside her. The demon screamed at her to do her Sire's will as Buffy tried to disobey.

"She's dead... Dru…" Her voice cracked at the end, unable to hold it in any longer, she burst into tears. She clung to his arm she sobbed uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, so sorry, Spike. I'm sorry. It was an accident. I'm sorry."

"Pet." He crooned softly. "Luv, hey there. She is a vampire, you know. Being dead comes with the package." He laughed softly, but stopped when she kept crying. He stroked her slim back as it quaked with the force of her sobs, though he wasn't sure why she was so hysterical. "Hey now, no need for tears princess."

She kept crying because she now knew first hand, the bond between Sire and Childe. She cried because she killed his Sire. She cried because she was sorry, but he'd never know just know much. She cried for the heartbreak she would undoubtedly cause him. And she cried because he had no clue. He was going to force her to break his heart.

"I'm so sorry, Spike... I was only…" Spike traced her face gently, the tips of his fingers brushing away any stray tears he happened upon.

"Come on, they're waiting for us, kitten." He grinned at the thought of Angelus returning soon, the sadistic bastard had this coming.

_Oh, Go, why won't he listen?_

Opening the door and walking down the hall, Spike frowned. He could feel Angelus, he felt happy. That demon had almost killed his Childe, the slayer Spike marked as his; Angelus had no right to keep showing up in Spike's home like he owned it. Buffy was furiously wiping away the tears and the stains they left on her skin, determined Angelus wouldn't see her cry, he'd probably think it was his fault. She rubbed her tear soaked hand across her pant leg, pouting when it made a small wet patch.

"Conceited, arrogant bastard." She mumbled to herself thinking on the brunette vampire in the other room, biting her lip when Spike chuckled. "Sorry."

"Don't be pet it's true. Listen"

"For killing the slayer, of course." Angelus' voice echoed through the door. Spike felt an immediate flair of anger in his chest at the sound of the voice of the man who'd stolen his Dru from him. Buffy felt Spike's body stiffen with tension. Muscles in his jaw clenched, and his eyes were a hard, icy blue. She placed a hand on his arm, trying to calm him. His expression softened immediately, and when he glanced over at her it was a loving, heated gaze. He winked at her as a sly grin spread on his lips. Pushing open the door he walked through, proudly showing Buffy off as she held onto his arm. The room bowed before him but Angelus, who turned mouth hanging open.

_He'd make quite the fish._ Spike thought snidely.

"**I** killed her, mate."

**X6X**

Please review me… :D Thanks


	8. Chapter 7

Two for the wait of one LOL

**Part 7**

"You!" Angelus bellowed, his voice echoing through out the grand hall. "I killed you, this-- you aren't here, you're dead." He rambled on his face a mask of confusion and utter horror. Spike watched him amused secretly but not showing it, the only emotion readable from the blond vampire was pride.

"Well she is here, she is dead and she's I _mine_ /I !" His voice became instantly more hostile at the thought that Angelus would still view her as his. He pulled her body against his, and with his free hand brought her hands to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss on the back of hand, but didn't release it.

"Hello lover." The ex-slayer ventured, her face lit up in delight as he stuttered and began to back away from her. "I really should thank you I guess, after all, if not for you I wouldn't be standing here."

"Thanks peaches." Spike offered mockingly, his lip curved up as he sneered at the cowering elder before him, although he felt the same way Buffy did. His pride wouldn't allow him to bow low enough to thank the son of a bitch in front of him. "On you knees, you poof. Bow to your Mistress." Having a slayer as a Childe elevated Spike's status far above Angelus', who's status had already dropped at his failed attempt to kill the slayer. Spike loved the thought of having Angelus grovelling in the dirt as his feet.

_Right where he belongs._ He thought with smile.

"Dru, what about Dru?" Angelus asked, trying to find an excuse. Hoping Spike didn't know she was dead.

"She's all yours," he replied with indifference. All that mattered to Spike now was his new Childe.

Realizing that approach wouldn't work, he sought to anger Spike towards the blond girl in his embrace. His mind ticked as he thought of ways for Spike to want rid of her, and then she'd have no choice but to belong to Angelus. He smirked, fuelled with the knowledge that Spike didn't know Buffy killed Dru he leaned forward and told Spike spitefully;

"She's dust, boy." Expecting shouts, curses, bloodshed, and the usual fireworks when Spike was angry or didn't get his way he was absolutely speechless when his only reply was calm.

"I know."

Beginning to get irritated at Spike's refusal to understand Angelus' obvious hints to the death of his paramour, he thought a little while longer. As Buffy turned her head away in shame, a malicious grin bloomed over his face and he took great pleasure in playing with Buffy.

"Did you tell him our little secret, lover?"

As she once again looked away from him, his lips curled evilly as he informing the blond Master of the truth.

"Buffy killed her, Will."

XXX

"_Tell me now then."_

"_Spike…" He raised his eyebrow at her and pouted. Sighing Buffy couldn't refuse him, it should have scared her how much she was used to him, and how he could win her over with a look, the feelings his touch stirred within her. He had promised he wouldn't let her go, he said so. Maybe it was time to tell him, she had to trust him. He'd understand she was only doing her job, protecting herself. "Drusilla, she's dead."_

_Spike lowered his eyes, his face took on a steely look, and hesitantly she reached out for him. He growled and pulled away from her. Masking her hurt she moved further from him and whispered she was sorry. Hearing her voice, her hurt barely concealed, he looked up. _

_His eyes widened comically as he realized why she had moved so far from him. "Buffy, pet, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. So sorry, baby." Holdings his arms out to her he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders as she ran to him. His arms holding her firmly against him he smiled into her hair. _

"_Sorry, pet, she was my Sire, you know. My love for over 100 years and now she's dust. It was a shock, I never meant to hurt you or scare you. I lo- want you with me so much, but she was my everything for so long. It just seems natural to mourn her. To keep away from every one else… not to forget her. Do you understand, pet?"_

"_Yeah, I kind of do. I'm sorry."_

"_For what, luv?" He smiled at her. "Not like you did it." She knew he was joking, that the thought never crossed his mind but she couldn't help feeling like she'd betrayed him in some way. Looking away from him as a stab of guilt rushed through her veins; she rubbed her arms and shook her head. _

"_Just feel bad for you, is all." _

_He ran his hand through her hair, marvelling at its beauty. It resembled spun gold, the colour could rival any sunrise and he felt inexplicably happy that he was the one who'd brought her into her new life, that he would be the one to care for her, to love her and be loved in return. He knew he didn't love her just yet, but he could with very little effort, he felt he could. Give it a few weeks, maybe days, and she'd be the sun to his earth. He'd revolve around her, every wish and whim, every dream would be his to grant, every fear and sadness his to fight away. She would be his golden goddess and he would be her god. Her Adonis to his Aphrodite. _

_Tucking her hair behind her ear, he moved closer to her to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Noticing the lingering bruise that hadn't healed from his blood, he fought to suppress the urge to growl. To go out and slaughter who ever dared touch this perfection and mar her. _

"_Who did that?" His thumb moved over the discoloured skin with care, not sure if it was sore still or not. Her hand rose to clasp his own, pushing it down on her bruise she grinned at him._

"_I'm not made of glass Spike, you won't hurt me."_

_He offered her a brief smile, his thumb still continuing his exploration of her injuries. Noting with disdain that the bruise travelled further back into her hairline and down to her ear. He couldn't understand how he hadn't noticed this before. As if reading his thoughts she replied, keeping her tone light._

"_You were rather engrossed in the good to note the bad, Sire." _

_Laughing softly Spike ducked his head to press a chaste kiss to her lips. Pulling back before it could be anything but chaste she finally answered him._

"_Angelus. He threw me into the wall of a mausoleum."_

_A growl sprung from his throat, his hands dropped to her arms and held her firmly afraid to let her go. _

"_To be fair, we were fighting to the death."_

"_And he killed you." The pure furry on her Sires face brought a rush of pain into her undead heart. The way his lips pressed firmly together and lost all its colour at the pressure applied to each other. His cheeks sucked in as he fought to control himself, fists clenched and unclenched at his side._

"_Yes and you saved me." She smiled at him, her appreciation evident, shining at him through her eyes. His ego swelled within him, and it wasn't the only thing that was starting to swell. Spike's eyes smouldered, and a wicked grin spread on his lips. Buffy squirmed to get closer to him, relieved that he wasn't too grief stricken to feel the same lust she did. Knowing that a conversation wouldn't be possible for much longer - unless it included four letter words Buffy decided to tell him now and leave other activities as make up sex, for there was sure to be a fallout. "Honestly I'm glad he won." _

_Spike blinked at her, not quite sure what to say, not believing he heard her correctly. "You cannot say you are not. If I had won, you would be here alone, I would be at home, and Angelus would be blowing in the wind with…" Trailing off, she bit her bottom lip unsure whether she had crossed some unspoken line._

"_You can say her name."_

"_With Dru." He laughed at that. He had allowed her to say it with the confidence that it would not bother him, safe to say he was a lot more confident than he should have been._

"_Even in death she is with her precious 'daddy'."_

"_They are not dead. Angelus will soon be here and Dru will always be here." She pressed her hand over his unbeating heart and smiled. "Whether I like it or not. I'm sure I would not like you so much if she wasn't with you." _

"_Thank you, luv. That means so much to me."_

_Not acknowledging his words she continued. "She did love you, you know. In her own way." _

"_How can you be so sure?"_

"_How could she not have? How could anyone not?" Spike was tempted to laugh and mention Cecily, he would have had the look on her face been anything but sheer honesty and compassion. Seeing he wasn't going to reply Buffy ploughed on. "She did love Angelus too I'll admit, and so did I." _

_Frowning at her he finally interrupted. "See, this," He waved his arm at her. "This isn't helping."_

_Laughing softly she kept on. "So did I, I loved Angel albeit, but in some ways they are still the same. And yet, Spike, I am here with you. And Dru was with you for over 100 years, as you said. And if it helps, I have no intention of going back to him, or anywhere that is not with you. Therefore I conclude, she loved you" _

"_Does that mean you love me too? Considering you compared you with Dru?" _

"_I- uh- well, um, I- you see… well, no." Seeing his smile fade Buffy ran a hand over her face. "Yes. No, maybe. I'm not sure!" She ended with a frustrated growl. "I could, I could love you very much, more than anything. But right now, no, I don't think I do. It's all too new to me; I can't separate my feelings for you and my feelings for my Sire. And plus, it wouldn't be fair, you've just lost Dru and I couldn't… it wouldn't be right!" _

"_You think, if it was the other way round Dru would wait?"_

"_Um, no I don't think so. But it, I think, it feels right, that I'm sure before I tell you. I don't want to hurt you Spike, or myself."_

_He grabbed her waist and lifted her in the air; twirling them in a circle he captured her lips in a breath-taking kiss. Finally standing her back on the floor he rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you. That means more to me than… well no one's ever… thank you." _

_Laughing at his lack of words she couldn't help but tease him. "Some poet you are." Taking the sting out of the harsh words she smiled at him._

"_The bloody awfulest, kitten." He replied good naturedly, taking the opportunity to laugh with her. "You gunna tell me about your fight with Angelus and how he bested the great slayer?"_

"_You sure?" He nodded at her. Taking his hand she led him to the bed, smacking his chest as his eyebrow wiggled suggestively. Pushing him to sit, she placed herself next to him, legs drawn up under her. "It was after Dru was dusted, he attacked me, I didn't even notice him there. We fought and he, he," Squeezing her eyes shut she stemmed the flow of tears that was just waiting to be free. "He pinned me to the ground and started talking at me. About how I'd love it and he'd make it good. He tried to rape me, and I tried to push him off and I couldn't and so I looked away, tired to pretend I was somewhere else that it wasn't happening to me and he got angry. He said if I looked away he'd kill me._

"_Guess he likes the attention, huh? Anyway, I dropped my stake and it was right by us, so I grabbed it and he must have seen my hand move because the next thing I knew, his hand was around my wrist and my stake was sticking out my stomach and not his chest. _

"_Must have been such a surprise. He just sat there holding the stake in his hand, watching the blood drip of and onto him. He didn't even notice me move. I got up and ran as fast as I could. And then I saw you and I wasn't scared anymore. And you saved me and now I'm here. It doesn't seem fair, you lost your lover but I didn't lose mine."_

"_Course you did, pet, and you're left with a cunt wearing his face. At least I don't have to keep seeing her all around me this way."_

"_All I want to see is you. Spike. Again, I'm sorry." _

"_And again, for what?" Opening her mouth to answer, she looked up at him. Her eyes locked with his and she could have staked herself right then. The open trust he had in her, the budding love between them was enough for her to forget the notion of coming clean. If she had just not looked at him, he'd know the truth and she'd know if he would and could forgive her anything. _

"_Nothing." Looking away from his, ashamed of her weakness and cowardliness she insisted it didn't matter. "They're waiting for us."_

"_Let them not wait any longer then."_

XXX

Seriously, some reviews would be appreciated for this fic. It takes less than a minute, whereas it takes me ages to write and then to get beta'd. PLEASE?


	9. Chapter 8

Thanks to Casey & avihenda for the reviews. Thanks tsumelover, now I see what you mean by its unfisinished LOL

Apparently I forgot to add the end of **PART 7** so it's here, then **PART 8** because I'm a moron! Lol :S

_…"All I want to see is you. Spike. Again, I'm sorry." _

"_And again, for what?" Opening her mouth to answer, she looked up at him. Her eyes locked with his and she could have staked herself right then. The open trust he had in her, the budding love between them was enough for her to forget the notion of coming clean. If she had just not looked at him, he'd know the truth and she'd know if he would and could forgive her anything. _

"_Nothing." Looking away from his, ashamed of her weakness and cowardliness she insisted it didn't matter. "They're waiting for us."_

"_Let them not wait any longer then."_

That was a refresher… then bellow is **PART 7** that I missed sorry.

XXX

"Buffy killed her, Will." At first his mind rebelled, wanted to scream at Angelus and call him a liar. But Angelus called him by his name. Angelus had only ever done that when it was important, when he was looking out for him before he first received his soul and it prompted him to doubt Buffy.

"Well?" His voice cold.

"I'm so sorry." Tears she couldn't deny couldn't blink away streamed down her face.

_Please, please forgive me._

Spike faced her, and his hand reached out and closed around her arm, drawing her into his embrace, or so she thought, but her relief was short lived, as his grip became painfully, cruelly tight.

"I thought I couldn't hurt you slayer?" He sneered at her.

Fear choked her. Fear turned the blood into ice in her veins. He wasn't going to forgive her, he hated her now, and not that she blamed him. He was going to reject her in front of half the minions; it was the crowd that bothered her not really. This was the moment she had feared since she had woken in Spikes arms merely a day ago. He was going to leave her, send her as far from him as he wanted. Maybe she'd be lucky and he'd just kill her. She couldn't stand to be so far from him. He stared at her, his eyes cold, looking like a predator that just wants to rip her throat out. He raised his other hand and slapped her hard across the side of her face sending her spiralling backwards as he let go of her arm simultaneously.

"You lying **BITCH**!" He thundered as he advanced on the sobbing Buffy lying trembling against the wall.

_**X7X**_

That was **PART 7** the ending... LOL and bellow is **PART 8** enjoy… and review.

**Part 8**

She scrambled away from him she backed straight into the wall. Her breath hitched as she felt the cold stone press into her back, she looked desperately around for an escape.

"Spike please…"

"Shut. Up." He growled at her, his brow furrowed and his fangs elongated. He stalked towards her he hissed again. Every minion scattered to the outskirts of the room, although some chose to stay.

"You stupid little slut!" His fists clenched at his sides as he moved towards her, drawing herself into a ball Buffy sniffled trying to ignore Spike's hurtful words. She pressed her hands to her ears and tucked her head into her legs. "I should kill you!"

"Spike…"

"Stop saying my name!" He raised a hand to strike her. Dalton grabbed Spikes wrist.

"Leave her alone. She was doing her job. She was still the slayer."

As Spike's attention turned to him Dalton realized his grave mistake. Spike snarled as his hand shot out and gripped Dalton's neck in a strangling hold. Dalton didn't bother begging, he knew it was useless.

Buffy saw the opening and took it; she stood ready to face her Sire. She shot Angelus a look. She kicked out at Spike hitting him in his lower back. The suddenness of the attack knocked him over. He hit the floor hard, as Dalton landed beside him.

She walked over to the nerdy vamp she held her hand out. He smiled shyly and took it.

"You should probably go now." He shook his head he insisted he stay and make sure she was ok. "I'll be fine, go."

"Childe," he warned her. She took no heed and advanced on him this time.

"You lying, self righteous bastard!" She hissed her voice no longer weak or fearful, but angry and strong. "You're just like him!" She screamed, pointing at Angelus, who once the attention was on him, began to look nervous rather than smug.

"How do you figure that Childe?" He asked snidely, trying to cover the sting in her words.

"You said there was nothing I could do to make you not want me."

"That doesn't include killing my Sire!" He snarled at her and jumped up off the floor. They began circling each other, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side.

"Well you should have been more specific." She told him sarcastically. When he growled again she sighed. "Spike, I was the slayer, she was a vampire. Done! Deal! End of! That's just how it goes; maybe you should have kept her in the mansion. Then she'd be undead and I would be at home… away from **you**!"

He flinched at the anger in her tone he tried to calm himself. Her words finally sinking in as his vampire visage melted away. His human mask firmly back in place. His cobalt blue eyes pleading with her. She didn't want to be there, with him, she didn't want him.

"Pet, come on, we'll go… no, you know what? If you don't want to be with me so bad, leave! Go on." She made no reply; she just stared at him sadly. "What you think I was going to apologize? Take you back with open arms? You betrayed me! She was my bleeding Sire, my salvation, you're nothing compared to her."

"Nothing? Well, gee, thanks Spike. You're more like Angelus than you think, you cunt. Get what you want and then fling insults about." Spike tensed his jaw. Being compared to his grandsire was almost too much to handle. And being called something he'd previously termed said grandsire just made it all the more difficult to refrain from hitting her again.

"Buffy please…"

"Spike please…" She mocked him, her voice taking on the scared pleading tone she'd used earlier when he had attacked her. "No, no you can't even deny it!"

"Who said I wanted to? Do you seriously think I'm still trying to apologize? Are you I that /I dense?" He let out a harsh laugh. He raised his hand and wiped away a pretend tear from the corner of his eye. "Boo bloody hoo."

_He… I really lost him…_ Her thoughts jumbled and incoherent as the reality finally sank in. She'd been there less than a day and she already lost to him. Being too stubborn to say sorry first she just looked back at him. She hastily rubbed away the fresh tears and spat at his feet.

"Sire?" She whispered. Not knowing what happens next she waited on him, her guide, her mentor, her enemy.

"Get out." Her mouth flew open to argue with him. She couldn't leave, she had no where else to go. "Don't." He held his hand up and looked away. He was beginning to calm down a bit, but he still felt all the pain and sadness and hurt and betrayal he felt when he first found out. He couldn't back down. "Just get out, slayer."

A violent sob tore from her throat, almost choking on her sobs she turned and sprinted for the door.

As Spike stood and watched her leave, he never thought it would hurt this much. Hardening his heart he willed back the tears. He looked away from the door and noticed Angelus addressing Brian. A few words here and there penetrated his hearing.

"Vampire… Buffy… sunrise..."

He ran for the exit, determined to get her before the sun did. Angry or not, betrayed or not, he couldn't let his first Childe burn. Three minions, who had witnessed Buffy's flee and attempted to stop her, tried their luck with Spike. Weaken from the emotional roller coaster he'd been flying since Buffy had become his responsibility he gave no struggle when the three younger vamps hauled him back and away from the doorway.

"Let me go... I have to get her."

"Sorry, Master, but it's too dangerous. We can't let you."

"Damn it Brian, she's out there alone." He turned to gaze at the pitying minion and sighed. "It's my fault."

Brian nodded miserably and did his best to cheer Spike up while they took him to his room. "She used to be a slayer; she knows about our weaknesses, she'll watch out."

Not having helped much, Brian stayed silent until they reached Spike's room. He stood, perfectly still as he stared at the door, slowly his hand reached out for the door handle, but stopped before it could touch. Angelus, trailing along behind them couldn't help but wind Spike up further.

"Unless she wants to greet the dawn."

Spike snarled and turned to face the snide vampire.

"You, this is all your fault! Why couldn't you have just killed her or left her alone?"

"You saying you don't want her, Spike?" Angelus asked with glee, clearly enjoying Spikes emotional torment.

"I don't have her." He looked at the door to the room he and Buffy shared one more time and closed his eyes briefly. Letting the scent of her wash over him before turning again and heading to the closest spare room.

_XXX_

Buffy ran away from the mansion as fast as she could, ending up outside Sunnydale High she laughed humourlessly. Maybe she'd go pay Giles a visit; at least she'd be out of the rising sun. She looked up and smiled the sun just on the horizon casting an orange glow through the sky, fading into pink the higher it got. Absolutely breath taking. So close, to ending it all, the only thing that made her move forward and into the relative safety of the school was the thought of Giles and her friends. They deserved to know how it ended. Even if it was by there hand that it did in fact end.

She shoved open the doors to Sunnydale High. She moved quickly to the library, making sure not to pass any lingering teachers. She so didn't want to explain why she, troublesome Buffy Summers, was actually here this late. As in all nighter. Not likely, but knowing her luck of late, very possible.

She stood, for a few seconds, outside the library double doors. She stood on her tiptoes as she tried to see through the glass. She spotted Giles leaning over the desk in the centre of the room. Then seeing Willow slumped over the computer desk fast asleep, and Xander pacing the floor.

She drew in a deep unneeded breath, and pushed the doors open and walked inside. A huge smile lit up the faces of all three occupants before they ran over to hug her.

"I was so worried." Willow gushed, tears coursing down her cheeks.

"Thank God, you're ok." Giles muttered, hugging his proxy daughter to him.

"On all that's good and holy, Buff." Xander also held her as tight as he could, not being able to comprehend that, moments ago they feared her dead.

"Sorry guys. I'm fine honest." She half lied, she was almost fine apart from losing the man she was falling in love with. Her own stupidity and fear, she should have just told him from the start, her rational mind argued that he was justified; she killed his one true love. The more self involved part countered that he should have listened to her

Back and forth her inner battle raged until Xander snapped her out of her thoughts.

"We saved you a jelly." He smiled at her and held out the doughnut. Unsure if vampire could actually eat and Angel just chose not too or whether they couldn't at all she hesitated. Seeing Xander's crestfallen face she shrugged and took the treat from him. She'd deal with any repercussions later.

"Thanks Xand, glad to see you have faith in me." Everyone laughed. Buffy ate her doughnut, to discover that it was all right to eat human food; they just didn't **need** to. Licking the remaining sugar off her fingers Buffy grinned. "Yummy."

"Buffy, I must ask, what happened tonight?" Worry evident as Giles spoke to her. Sighing, Buffy indicated that they all should sit. Pacing in front of the table, Buffy told them, once again leaving out some 'minor' details.

"Dru found me when I was patrolling I sort of goaded her, I didn't realize until she jumped at me. Anyway I staked her, just as Angelus showed up and attacked me." Willows hand flew to her mouth in fear. As the two men went paled, gasps flew from both their lips as they gripped the edges of the table. "He… he tried to rape me. I went to stake him, and he twisted my arm. I ended up staking myself." She lifted her shirt slightly so they could see the bottom of her bruise. "It's healing." Nodding, Giles waved for her to continue, no one questioning why she didn't show the whole wound.

"Um, he kind of went into shock I think, just sat there looking at the stake. Um, Spike," Giles jumped out of his chair and came around to her.

"Good lord, Buffy. All three in one night?"

"I'm fine. Spike saved me." Willow smiled softly while Xander gapped at her, disbelieving. "He was… nice. Then Angelus told him about Dru, and he attacked me. I got angry, he got angry, and he told me to leave. And now I'm here."

"Oh Buffy. I'm so glad he didn't attack you too… at first?" Willow floundered, turning beat red frowned and sat back down. Head tilted forward so her hair hung down and covered her face.

"I'll kill him!" Both Giles and Xander exclaimed at the same time.

She laughed softly, and asked, "Spike or Angelus?"

"Spike!"

"Angelus!"

They glanced quickly at each other and changed their minds. As one shouting, "both!"

"Leave it guys, I'll take care of them." Nodding their consent, all three of them began to gather their stuff and leave the library. When Buffy didn't move Xander looked back.

"Come on Buff, time to go. No point hanging around when you're safe."

Buffy hesitated and bit her lower lip, looking away. The sun was still rising and she had no where to go.

"Hey, Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow walked back over and touched her arm. It took all of Buffy's self restraint told keep her demon from jumping at the red head.

"My mums not home and I'm scared to be on my own right now." Not all lie she mused.

"Angelus can't get in, and Spike was never invited." Giles rationalized, always the clever, sane one.

"Tell that to my sub conscious." She quipped humourlessly. "Can I stay with one of you guys?" She could feel her demon clawing its way forward, waiting for the answer to its next meal.

"You can stay with me, Buffy; I have no parents to excuse myself to." She smiled her thanks to Giles; and bid the others good bye and left with her watcher. Never offering to walk them home, very much unlike her self, which only made the others more sure she wasn't as well as she'd like them to believe.

Willow and Xander looked at one another and frowned. "Yea, see you Buff." Willow just shrugged at him, and left the library waiting for Xander to follow.

_**X8X**_

Ok, that was **PART 8**… hope you lie it please review me…


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